Posted in Cool shit, Reality by waldopaper on June 15, 2009

Saying &%#! on the internet since 1988

All words are fair that lurk ‘neath fair mustache!
– Suppose he were a fool! . . . -Cyrano


It’s an internet handle I take very seriously: wp. The greasy old carbon unit on my end of this pixel is unimportant (don’t mean shit). When you see the Waldopaper© wp glyph on your screen, trust your quality control team to verify it’s about something important. More than that. Talking some serious sh*t. Which got more mojo than a “consequential issue.” Every Standard American English-speaking fool knows there’s a big difference between “consequential issues” and some serious sh*t.

Mister Deedle, these financial reports have potential negative impact exposure. Man, my car broke. That’s some serious sh*t. Now it seems kinda dopey to affect a “*” in shit. We all know what shit is. Now we have to deal with it because we were to “busy” or “professional” discussing “serious matters” and ran out of oil. Now on foot, in the dark and icy rain, if some speeding truck does not blunt you out of the universe, some other fool will jump out and force a cap. And there’s hypothermia. Daylight is unpredictable.

So your life may end in a fascist blood-mad empire with the infrastructure gone and the ecosystem gone insane, is that what was bothering you, bunky? How did we both get to a place where even the religion contains the very nano-memetic poison self-interest pill with the soul of a runaway train to wipe millions- even billions of us off the earth? Has that got you down? Well stand tall, throw your shoulders back, and take a walk in the sun, brother and sister human primate… because, yes! We truly are fucked!

Now, it’s not as bad as all that as long as we can begin to talk about serious fucking shit. Now, imagine George Carlin or Richard Pryor just said that. Waldopaper is not as good as they were, but still reserves the same right to practice the fine art of talking about some serious fucking shit. It is because those words still maintain the stain of incorrectness; they should be used with skill and not indiscriminately in environments concerned with appearances, such as corporations, schools, mega-churches or in front of your mom.

You could be in waldopaper’s position: you believe “9-11” was an inside job, economic collapse has been happening for some time, there are unstable areas in the atmosphere, hydrosphere and memesphere whose cascading effect is inconceivable as Nazi Germany… you have evidence to support your position. Waldopaper talks to people all the time about how literature is important. Literature IS important. But the collapse of states, monetary and eco-systems is serious fucking shit. Especially all at once.

Without the charisma of the Madmen across the water or the wisdom of Grandmother Willow, all you have are pixels on a screen, little words on paper, so: let the words scream rationally and politely in the humility of lower case anonymity from the shade of an internet glyph about some serious fucking shit. We can still affect the space-time continuum better by using truths we know hiding like children with poopy diapers in the skirts of starched matronly institutions, patriarchal courts as well. We know shit.

We just got off the midnight interstate and walked until morning without getting flattened, frozen or frogged. Here’s a truck stop; don’t know if it’s open, don’t have any money and do be nice to the locals. On the other hand, after dealing with some serious soufflé all night long, that’s how many of us feel when approaching the internet. When cars are useless, that motorway metaphor will be worse than useless. The locals have no idea. Rod Serling is about to step out and offer you a Lucky.

That’s right; you’ve stepped into another dimension where the simulacra layers nest like “the fabled Matryoshka Doll Of No Known End.” You may be on the other end of the wormhole, knowing Jesus will be back to fix everything therefore Global Climate Instability is twaddle. The world has gone mad, kinko, and we may not be part of the two percent that is still sane. That is some serious yedda blah. But can we talk about it without self-promotion? Shit. Maybe he should change the title. You should!

You see? We are all mad except for the two percent, and half of them are probably mistaken. So the language police need to go have a meeting or something while the rest of us try to get a grip on … what? Reality! That’s right! Which is… what? You know that boring every-day normative Newtonian-clockwork thing with physics and temperature. Yeah, that. Turn off the lights for two months, and it’s a zombie movie. The correct 1-percenters have badges, but about 20-percent of the population wears them.

The 1-percenters make their living selling copies of their badges. Some people have remote-control hands all over the earth- sea- space, and some little-thread theory on paper got them there. Waldopaper does not claim to be any of these people. Waldopaper does claim to be a former outlaw biker with college degrees and shit. Whom would you rather believe — a screen name or some yak from dominionist crackerland awash in dogma? We are all just pixels on a screen, parroting the simulacra, sacred and soy sauce. We are polyglot parrots stewing in the broth of a million memes.

We must get Polly unsaturated. This is serious…


2 Responses

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  1. curt said, on June 16, 2009 at 4:00 pm

    JFC Jeb!

    HiRes !

    Bold. Very sehr bold.

    Sorry I can’t add more tonight. Bed time. Nighty night.


  2. Mr WordPress said, on June 15, 2009 at 7:43 pm

    Hi, this is a comment.To delete a comment, just log in, and view the posts’ comments, there you will have the option to edit or delete them.

    I’m not really a comment, I’m a bot. And any cheesehead that can control the blog can edit my comment to say any fucking thing.

    Remember that when you comment on a blog.

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